Overcoming Cloud Cover: Breaking Through Even Without Feeling Joyous

Question : As a person who has been consistently doing phase two work since May 2011, I often don’t feel joyous after doing the process. Does the cloud cover still get broken through even if I don’t feel joyous?

Robert : When you say you don’t feel joyous, that’s a very subjective thing. What that means is you have a picture of what it means to feel joyous; there’s a certain kind of feeling and an appearance inside of you that you define as joyous. You then compare everything against that, saying you don’t feel that one particular thing you call joyous, and therefore you’re not feeling joyous. This is very subjective and can be inaccurate for many reasons.

The first opportunity here is to realize that it may not be that you’re not feeling joyous; it could be that you have a very limited, narrow definition of what joyous means, and it’s not matching that.

For the moment, let’s accept that it’s accurate, and you’re not feeling joyous. In my experience and perspective, it doesn’t make any difference. When I was actively using the process, I would often start out really uncomfortable, go through the steps of the process, and by the time I reached the appreciation phase, I would feel joyous or expanded. Sometimes, it didn’t last very long; sometimes, I’d be back in discomfort a couple of minutes later. But more often than not, I did feel joyous, at least for a brief time. However, it doesn’t matter. My knowing with a capital K is that if you actually go through the steps of the process and do your best, something is always happening in the cloud cover, whether you know it or not, and whether anything appears to move or change.

Sometimes, you can be doing the process for weeks or months, and nothing appears to change at all. But something is always happening. We are all profoundly impatient, and we want all the goodies yesterday. However, the truth is that every time you apply the process, something happens in the cloud cover. There may be evidence of it, or there may not be, but something is always happening.

When you say some days that’s all you’re doing, the same thing happened to me. There was one phase where I applied the process 20 hours a day, and I was so uncomfortable with so much going on. I couldn’t sleep at night, so I just kept applying the process. The intensity of using the process can vary; it tends to be a blip when it feels like that’s all you’re doing. Your expanded self knows you can only handle so much intensity and tends not to give you more than would be supportive or that it knows you can handle. Generally, it tends to be a blip, and it comes and goes. There is relief, plateaus, and moments where it’s quieter.


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